Crimean time


Apparently chivalry is no longer being taught in schools, nor passed down to our offspring by fathers, mothers and grandparents in todays modern societies. Chivalry was taught to me by my Dad, and my grandparents, aunts, and uncles. Being courteous and gentlemanly to those delicate flowers of the opposite sex must be a vanishing art known to only selected Texans and a handful of men in the remainder of the world.

My grandmother was a sweetheart of a Lady, and I am sure she is even nicer than ever since passing on to the other side when I was just a mere teenager. I view each and every Lady as if she were my sister, mother, grandmother, great grandmother, aunt, daughter, or daughter-in-law. They fed me the most wonderful foods, cakes, pies, and pastries. They taught me manners while at the table, and how to ask politely for more of my favorites. They also bathed me as an infant and changed my stinky, poopy diaper.

Good grief, I can still remember the most awful odors eminateing from my precious giggling children as I changed their messy diapers. A dead skunk drapped over my head would have been a more pleasant aroma. Yeah, I was their favorite whenever it became time for a new diaper. I have a bit of difficulty, because of sinus, smelling a dirty diaper from 16 feet away. Buzzards would need to be flying overhead, and lurking on nearby rooftops, before I'd notice one of my children needing a new diaper.

My wife can smell a loaded diaper from the next room, and holler out, "Honey, Daniel needs a new diaper!" Daniel, aged 18 months will shout, "I want Dad to do it," as he comes running, grinning from ear to ear, while dragging a fully loaded diaper inches above the living room carpet.

Why am I their favorite diaper changer, you may ask? Well, it is really quite simple. My wife will not twitch an eye, nor bat an eyebrow while changing one of these living cesspools, while I on the other extream, will make over a thousand different amusing faces to my child as I remove 5 pounds of bursting diaper from my totally estatic child. What on Earth are these children eating to make septic tank smell like a Rose garden in comparison?

While riding on the buses and mini-buses, I've noticed very many Grandmothers, and Great Grandmothers gladly accepting any mother's young child, or bouncing baby, to sit on their lap as we travel to, or from City Center.(Downtown.) These ladies will nestle these children upon their lap, and talk to these children all along the way. There is also a "pecking order" among the Ladies as they will give up their seat on a crowded bus, to any woman older than themselves. And Grandmothers will happily relinquish their comfortable seat to "any" pregnant Lady who happens to board the bus.

I fully agree with them, and although I myself am a Great Grandfather, I wIll refuse to sit while any Lady over 14 years old must stand. Tradition tells us that Mary, The Mother of Jesus, was less than 15 years old when she and Joseph traveled to Bethlehem. Granted, many 14 year old girls are not as "pure as the driven snow," however they also should be treated as ladies, until proven otherwise.

Therefore, I have caused many a controversy while riding on the bus, and giving up my seat to any Lady who happens to board. The other Ladies will see a Texas Gentleman, and then will start complaining about all the men, younger than I, who will refuse to relinquish their seat for another multiple Ladies who happen to board the bus.

I get so tickled watching the other men purposly avoid any type of eye contact with "any" Lady on the bus. They pretend to be in deep thought, or there is "something" outside their window more fascinating than the Seven Wonders of The World. They are also very intrigued by their saved messages on their Mobile Phone. No doubt, none of these saved messages say anything about being a gentleman, and getting up off their fat butts to offer their seat to a Lady.

The reason we have so many Gentlemen in Texas is because we have Father's Day.

Joe K. Roberts

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