Crimean time

Father's Day!

Mother's Day was innagurated as a National Holiday in America, in 1920, to honor all Mother's. The "only" Holiday in America with greater sales, notoriety, and excitement is Christmas!!! Our Wives, Mothers, Grand Mothers, and Great Grandmothers are lavished with Greeting Cards, Flowers, Jewelry, Clothing, Breakfast in Bed, along with Brunches, Lunches, and Dinners out on the Town! Every bright and shiny bauble, bangle, and bead imaginable is bought and given to Mothers all over America.

Now in 1954, when Eisenhower was President, Father's Day was announced as a National Holiday with great fanfare, to honor all American Fathers, and therefore many Fathers stationed all over the world. Fathers in the fartherest reaches of America and the world awaited with great anticipation because we could now enjoy being laden with numerous and uncountable gifts from our loving wives and adoring children!

It is great fun being a Dad, and playing all types of games, and sports activities with my adorable, frolicking, gleeful children. I also get to buy them toys I liked as a child, and never ever really got to play with as often as I would have liked. Besides, now I have children, and I have all kinds of play time, because "now" I am the adult, and no one can tell me what to do, or when I have to go home! Well, except for "the love of my life" who also happens to be a Mother.

My children look forward to treating their beautiful, talented, loving Mom, like The Queen of the Earth, on Mother's Day. My 12 year old son Jason, approaches me and asks, " Hey Pop, can I "have" twenty dollars so I can buy Mom something nice for Mother's Day?" Seconds later my 4 year-old son Daniel, makes the same request. Hum, fourty bucks spent on Mom so far, and I haven't even bought her anything as of yet. We tried the "breakfast in bed" stunt a few years back with what may possibly be, not one of my most endearing memories for my True love. I do recall some anguished yelps and screams whenever she entered the kitchen, after her leisurely dining upon scorched eggs, crisp, soggy bacon, burnt toast and of course we can't forget about the slurped orange juice upon our bedsheets.

Ah yes, Once Upon a Time, the Handsome Prince met the Beautiful Princess, and they galloped off on his prancing white stallion and they lived happily ever after. Gee, do y'all ever get fact and fantasy intertwined, intermingled, and interained?

Yes, my Princess was celebrated as The Queen of All the World on Mother's Day by myself and our two young offspring of our hopes, passion, love, and desire. A gentleman, and certainly a Prince of a Man, will not discuss the cost of such a fabulous Holiday, but I was "brown bagging" it for several weeks thereafter. Yes, I prepared my own lunches. There was really no need to bother my Princess with such a menial chore.

The day before Father's Day, my 12 year-old, and 4 year-old sons approach together and ask, " Hey Pop, can we have twenty dollars to buy you a Father's Day Present?" Hum, let's see. Unless their Mom chips in twenty bucks, I am already getting half as much as they gave their Mom for Mother’s Day. Surely my two handsome sons, who are flesh of my flesh, blood of my blood, and the fruit of my loins have something fabulous already picked out for their dear 'ol Dad.

After all, I am the one who taught them how to dribble a basketball, swish the net, throw a football, dodge a tackle, bait a hook, hit a baseball, fire a pellet gun, and whittle. Yes, I also taught them how to make all sorts of obscene noises with their various body parts, plus I showed them how to write their names in the snow in both script, and the most difficult of all ways, with block letters!

I awaken on Father's Day morning and walk into the kitchen and prepared my morning coffee. Hum, no greeting cards on the kitchen table, no balloons, no confetti draped over the table; just me. An hour later my wife walks into the kitchen. "Good morning," she says. I take another cup of coffee, and my Bible out to our patio, and check for any references to Father's Day. An hour later my two sons happily approach me and give me their combined Father's Day Card, and their combined Father's Day Gift of a package of three handkerchiefs in a brown paper bag. Both the Card and the hankerchiefs were purchased at The Dollar Store. Gee, I wonder what happened to the other 18 bucks?

I show off my card and handkerchiefs to my adoring Princess and she says, "Oh, it's Fathers Day, I forgot."

Father's Day is the least celebrated of all National Holidays in America. Retailers reluctantly advertise Father's Day, only because it is a National Holiday, and most mass market retailers just happen to be men, who hope against all hopes that this will finally be the year their sweethearts, their sons, their daughters, their daughters-in-law, "anyone", will "finally" remember that it is Father's Day!!!

This is why, I will always eagerly give up my seat on "any" bus to "any" Lady 14 or younger!!! If we were to have Father's Day in The Crimea, and The Ukraine, all men would be perfect Gentlemen while in the presence of a Lady. Please don't forget to give her presents on Mother's Day and be very thankful there is no Father's Day in The Ukraine!

Joe K. Roberts

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